Here’s a little story about how I lost my creativity and found it again…
It’s crazy to think how many things change in a year. Just last year, I was working in a job that I hated. Sure, I loved the people I worked with and the people I worked for, but the job itself was nothing that I ever imagined myself doing. All I was focusing on was trying to get money to pay off my car and student loans. Little did I know that this would lead to a depressive state of mind.
I worked in sales last year… even though I hate talking on the phone and being pushy. Nothing against sales people at all – I just hated it. If you haven’t read any of my previous blog posts, then you need to know that I am a creative person. I love to write, read, draw, sing, play guitar and piano. I enjoy imagining stories in my head and thinking of ways to draw them out or outline them all on paper. And, when I don’t do these things – when I don’t get to be creative on a daily basis like I did in university when I wrote papers or had days off and time to myself – it makes me upset and drained. That’s how I was last year: upset and drained.
There were points when I didn’t want to go to work. I would wake up late on purpose and had to force myself out of bed. Of course we all have those days where our beds are calling us back to crawl under the covers, but this was consistent throughout the work week. I would desperately try to make my weekends worthwhile because I knew when Sunday night rolled around, time was up and I had to go back into work the next morning, and I dreaded it. When the weekends were dull, I would get annoyed because it would be my only time to have fun.
My weeks consisted of waking up, eating, going to work (and hating it), coming home, eating again, going to the gym, showering, and going to bed. That was on repeat. If I was in a job that I loved at the time, I wouldn’t have minded the repetition. So, when 2017 was coming to a close, I decided to make a change in the new year.
Once 2018 started, I knew I had to make a change and I had to find my creativity again. I applied to so many jobs, I’d need multiple hands to count out for you. It was a long process, and I felt really sad at the time because I thought I was going to be stuck in a job that I hated forever. But, the dark clouds rolled away and the sun started shining through the light at the end of the tunnel, because I found a brand new job where I could be creative every single day and actually enjoy it.
I also enrolled in an online certificate program where I learned how to use WordPress and I started this blog. I wrote out a schedule for myself where I would set aside time to put my phone down and be creative, whether that is writing creatively or on this blog, playing music, or reading a book. I’ve been doing that a lot more lately and I have never felt the creative juices flowing through my body this much before! I always have ideas in the back of my mind and the want to be my creative and genuine self.
I wanted to write this today to just let anyone that’s like me out there know: there is a light at the end of the struggle. It’s hard when you’re a creative person and you can’t be creative. It almost feels as if someone has taped over your mouth and you’re not allowed to speak. That’s the best way I can put it into words.
If you’re feeling like this, just know that you have the power to rip that tape off and shout! Make a change whether that is going on a job hunt, starting a new blog about your craft, immerse yourself with like-minded people. Creativity is so important. Make sure you let your creativity shine!